Torchless Wood
This is a story about Torchwood losing his flame and unable to ignite it back up in urgency. Created by Ariq1144. Characters * Melon-pult * Peashooter * Gatling Pea * Screen Door Zombie * Repeater * Threepeater * Torchwood * Snow Pea * Buckethead Zombie * Conehead Zombie * Dr. Zomboss * Football Zombie * Wall-nut * Tall-nut * Penny * E.M.Peach Prologue One sunny morning, in Neighborville... Melon-pult: *Putting luggages in the car trunk* “Alright, that was the last one! Be sure to guard the place while some of us are gone!” Peashooter: “Of course! Don’t worry.” Gatling Pea: “ATTENTION!” Peashooter: “Huh?” Gatling Pea: “Remember, soldier! ALWAYS BE ALERT! You never know when those walking corpses will strike! And when they do, DEFEND THE BASE EVEN IF IT COSTS YOUR LIFE!” Peashooter: “Sir! Yes, sir!” Gatling Pea: “We’re counting on you, soldier! ALRIGHT, LET’S GO!” *The Plants left with the car, leaving only peashooting plants as the main line of defense* Chapter 1: Flame Up One long battle in the lawn, with a bunch of peashooting plants versus a bunch of high-armored zombies... Screen Door Zombie: “Braaainz…” Repeater: “Take this, you stinky zombies!” *shoots peas* Peashooter: “There’s too many of them! We need more firepower!” Threepeater: “How about we ask good ol’ Torchwood’s help?” Peashooter: “Good idea! TORCHWOOOOOD...!” Torchwood: “I’m here! What do ya peaheads want me to do!?” Peashooter: “Sit in front of us so our peas will ignite in flames!” Torchwood: “The usual, eh? Seems like you only call me here to sit in front of you like it’s all I’m good for! Why not, I don’t know, call me for LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE!!!” Threepeater: “But it’s the only thing you’re good for!” Torchwood: “Alright, whatever you say, peanut.” *sits in front of the peashooting plants* Threepeater: *Whispers to Peashooter* “Why did he call me peanut?” Peashooter: *Shrugs* With Torchwood’s help, the barrage of peas turn into flaming peas, burning through the zombies faster than before... Peashooter: “Woo hoo!” Threepeater: “Take that, zombies!” Repeater: “Yeah!” *Four ignited peas hit Screen Door Zombie’s screen door, and a single normal pea* Screen Door Zombie: “...” Snow Pea: “...” After a short while... Buckethead Zombie: *Loses head, then fall down* Peashooter: “We did it! That was the last one!” Threepeater: “Hooray!” Repeater: “Nice work, team!” Peashooter: “Thanks, Torchwood!” Torchwood: “Yeah you should be thankin’ me more often. Gettin’ little appreciation from kids these days.” *leaves the lawn while mumbling* Threepeater: “...what’s his problem?” Peashooter: “Oh, he’s always been like that.” Meanwhile, in the bushes... Conehead Zombie: “Hmm...” Chapter 2: Flame Out Dr. Zomboss: “Grr! If it wasn’t because of that stupid tree stump, my zombies would have won!” Conehead Zombie: “Maybe you shood get reed of him.” Dr. Zomboss: “Hmm... I have to find a way to make his flames goes out! But how...?” Conehead Zombie: “Juzt add water.” Dr. Zomboss: “According to my previous research, he seems to be able to re-ignite the flames after being watered. So that plan would prove to be... rather ineffective.” Conehead Zombie: “Add more water?” Dr. Zomboss: “Hmm... I know! Why don’t I read the information regarding that plant on my database that Robot Peashooter sent a while ago? Maybe I’ll find his weakness!” A few minutes later... Dr. Zomboss: *Scrolling through data* “Hmm... Torchwood, Torchwood, Torchwood... Aha! Here it is!” *The computer screen shows a few pictures of Torchwood and a bunch of data* Dr. Zomboss: “It says here that the source of the flame comes from a thermal core in his body that allows him to turn his flame on and off at will!” *continues reading* “...can quickly evaporate water when necessary, blah blah blah... okay! So now we know what keeps that old stump burning! Now, if I can alter the core to make it dysfunctional, that old stump would be burning no more! Mwuahahahahaha!!!” Conehead Zombie: “You’re so evil.” Dr. Zomboss: “Why thank you.” At night... Torchwood: “...ZzZzZz...” *A tiny robot is seen crawling on Torchwood* Dr. Zomboss: (At Zomboss HQ, controlling the robot) “Hehehe...” *The tiny robot gets inside the trunk* The next day... Torchwood: *Yawns* “Another day, another job to do.” Peashooter: “TORCHWOOOOOD...!” Torchwood: “COMING...! Ugh, bet they’re gonna ask me to sit on that darn spot again.” *Torchwood comes to the lawn* Torchwood: “What is it, folks?” Peashooter: “We need your help! These zombies are so strong and we–” Torchwood: “Aight, talk no more, chump!” *moves over in front of the peashooting plants* “Better!?” Repeater: “Uh... We kinda need your flame a lil’ bit.” Torchwood: “Whoops! Didn’t realize my flame was out. Strange, I don’t remember putting it out.” *tries to ignite the flame* “Hmph! Hmph!” Peashooter: “What’s the problem?” Torchwood: “I can’t turn it on!” Threepeater: “What?” Football Zombie: “Braaainz...” Wall-nut: “Uh, guys, not trying to interfere, but these zombies are getting closer!” *The peashooting plants looks really worried* Threepeater: “Come on! Try harder!” Torchwood: “I’m trying, I’m trying! It doesn’t work!” Snow Pea: “I can only slow them down!” Repeater: “Aaahh!!! They ate off Wall-nut!” Tall-nut: “Wall-nut!!!” Wall-Nut: “Eep!” Torchwood: *Keeps trying* Peashooter: “Oh no!!! Release the Lawn Mowers!!!” Threepeater: “On it!” *activates the Lawn Mowers* *The Lawn Mowers mows down all zombies on the lawn* Peashooter: “Phew!” Repeater: “But that was our last stock of Lawn Mowers! What are we gonna do when they come back!?” Peashooter: “...” Threepeater: “...” Snow Pea: “...” Wall-nut: “Eep!” Torchwood: “This ain’t good.” Chapter 3: Core Problem Repeater: “Alright, we really need to do something about this.” Threepeater: “Like what?” Repeater: “Well, I don’t know, why don’t YOU think about what to do?” Peashooter: “Can’t you really ignite your flame?” Torchwood: “Of course I can, I was just having a good lil’ prank with you that could end up with zombies eating us alive. ARE YOU BRAINDEAD!? OF COURSE I CAN’T!” Peashooter: “Hmm... Maybe there’s something wrong inside of you?” Torchwood: “Inside of me...? Well, now that I think about it, I did feel something inside me last night. I thought I was just dreaming, so I brushed it off.” Repeater: “Great! Snow Pea! Check inside the trunk!” Snow Pea: “Hehey! No way! What if his flame got ignited while I was peering? Ask Threepeater.” Repeater: “Threepeater!” Threepeater #1: “He was talking to you.” Threepeater #2: “No, he was talking to you!” Threepeater #3: “I like backgammon.” Peashooter: “This is never gonna end... Alright, I’m gonna take a look!” Torchwood: “Alright, don’t blame me if you do get burned.” Peashooter: “Gulp!” *Peashooter peers inside the trunk* Peashooter: “Hey! I see something in here! A book! It says ‘Learn How To Read’.” Torchwood: “Don’t search in my private trunk, ya dimwit! Search in the other one!” Peashooter: “Oops! Sorry! Hehe.” Torchwood: “Find anything yet? Other than my junk.” Peashooter: “Yeah... It looks like a... a robot!” Repeater: “A robot!?” Peashooter: “Hold on, it’s doing something...” *gets electrocuted* “AaAaAaHhHh!!!!!” Threepeater: “Whoa!” Snow Pea: “Are you alright?” Peashooter: “Y-yeah...” Repeater: “Torchwood can’t ignite his flame and there's a tiny robot inside him... I think I know who to blame!” Threepeater #1: “Yeah! Global warming!” Repeater: “...what? I was referring to Zomboss.” *Threepeater #2 & #3 stares at #1* Threepeater #1: “…yeah, that’s what I mean. Zomboss.” Peashooter: “We have to remove this robot if we want Torchwood to flame up again!” Snow Pea: “Sure, anyone wants free electrocution?” Peashooter: “...” Threepeater: “Try shooting it!” Torchwood: “Hey! Watch where you aim that th–” Repeater: *Shoots peas at the tiny robot* Torchwood: “Ouch! Oww! Stop it!” Repeater: *Gets electrocuted* “AoOoWw!!! It won’t budge!!!” Buckethead Zombie: “Braaainz...” Snow Pea: “Oh no! They’re here already!” Peashooter: “Snow Pea, try to slow them down! I’m gonna try something!” Repeater: “You better hurry! We can only fend them off for a short minute!” Chapter 4: Reignite Peashooter: “Penny! Penny!” Penny: “Inform your needs.” Peashooter: “Take me to the Far Future!” Penny: “Sorry, you are unauthorized to do so.” Peashooter: “This is URGENT!!! ZOMBIES!!!” Penny: “Why didn’t you say so? Let’s go.” Repeater: “Peashooter better hurry up! These zombies are getting CLOSER!” Screen Door Zombie: “Braaainz...” *Peashooter and Penny arrived from the Far Future* Peashooter: “I got it! I got the E.M.Peach!” E.M.Peach: “Here I am!” Buckethead Zombie: “Growls...” Tall-nut: *Being chewed on* “Ugh!” Torchwood: “Uh-oh!” Peashooter: “Torchwood! Take this!!!” *throws E.M.Peach at Torchwood* Torchwood: “Huh?” *E.M.Peach disables the tiny robot* Peashooter: “Try to ignite it now!!!” Torchwood: “Hmph!” *flame ignites* “I did it!” Repeater: “Alright! Everyone! Full force!!! ATTACK!!!” *The peashooting plants barrages the Zombies with ignited peas, burning off the undead horde to crisps* Threepeater: “We did it!!!” Snow Pea: “Yay!!!” Repeater: “Whew!” Peashooter: “There’s only one thing left to do now.” *Peashooter removes the disabled tiny robot inside Torchwood, then throws it into the pool* Peashooter: “There! All done!” Repeater: “Yeah!” Torchwood: “Yeah, uh, thanks for helping me ignite my flame and save the day. Maybe you peanuts aren’t that bad at all.” Peashooter: “You’re welcome! I–“ Torchwood: “Just kidding. I STILL DISLIKE ALL OF YOU!!!” *leaves the area while mumbling* Threepeater: “...what’s his problem?” Peashooter: “Oh, he’s always been like that.” Repeater: “Grumpy old stump.” Torchwood: “I HEARD THAT!!!!!” THE END Epilogue Dr. Zomboss: “Grah!!! Stupid E.M.P.!!!” Conehead Zombie: “Actually, iz E.M.Peach.” Dr. Zomboss: “Who cares!!! I call them whatever I like!” Conehead Zombie: “Oh, okay.” Dr. Zomboss: “Nevermind! You better prepare well, puny Plants! For my next project shall be your end! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That is, until I figure out what to do with these alkali metals.” Conehead Zombie: “Juzt add water.” *adds water* Dr. Zomboss: “WAIT, NO–“ BOOOOOM!!!!! Category:Fanfics